hurdling with rhys thomas: vice columnist, journalist + writer
on the danger of the 'send' button, being cynical about social media and quitting security to find more satisfaction
Rhys Thomas is on of my favourite writers – and not just because he’s a fellow Welsh person. Thoughtful, kind and caring, Rhys writes about masculinity, subculture and crypto – with a focus on the good stories, rather than the topic they occupy.
You might already know Rhys from ‘Hey Man’, his advice column for Vice magazine for guys, by guys, which aims to offer advice and comfort to men’s problems. This column encourages men to get talking about topics they might struggle to talk about. It really is a wonderful thing. Rhys also writes for publications like Time Out, The Face, The Guardian, GQ, Mr Porter, Huck, The Times, Dazed, Mundial, Highsnobiety, The Independent The Strategist/New York Magazine, ITV and many more.
In this interview, Rhys answers my (many) questions on the financial realities of writing for a living, the danger of the 'send' button and quitting security to find more satisfaction.
Q: When you were younger, what did you want to be when you ‘grew up’?
When I was four, I’m told my answer to this was, ‘a history teacher because they don’t work Tuesdays’. That aside, I had no idea. I just went through school playing rugby and instruments, half-arseing most topics. Then I had to stop playing rugby through injury, and realised musician was too precarious an idea for me. I took the A-Levels I felt I was best at, and then decided to do English and Creative Writing in Uni. I was 20 when I first wrote for a student paper, and I suppose I haven’t looked back.
Q: Tell me about your first job.
My first job was stacking shelves at a builder suppliers when I was 12. My dad worked there and gave me a job paying £2 an hour out of his wage (this was in 2008). I learned that some jobs are not worth the money, but also that I was a perfectionist.
Q: Okay, now tell me about your worst job.
I haven’t really hated any job, but that’s partly why I’m self-employed (I won’t take on something I don’t want to do; but I will take on too many things I sort of want to do). The least favourite was a social media job. I found myself being offered very little direction but also minimal creative control (a bad combination) and I generally found the things I was marketing very mediocre. The idea of using social media as a marketing tool, serving bad stuff and seeing the paid side of social media in all its horrors really made me cynical.
Q: What’s the biggest mistake you’ve ever made at work?
Professionally, I sent out a sponsored newsletter going to 50,000 people by accident and there were many mistakes, missing information, etc. It wasn’t good, it cost us a lot of money. It was the first one I’d done unsupervised. I then just took the blame, spoke directly to the business purchasing it and was accountable. It smoothed things over, and then I sent another which I wrote off company time and addressed the mistakes. So I suppose I learned to have integrity? And to be bloody careful using anything with a ‘send’ function.
Q: Is there anything you wish you’d done differently over your career?
Part of me wishes I’d have just been careless and found a long internship, or perhaps figured a way of surviving on less money in order to take an in-house role somewhere I like that would have offered me good guidance. But we’re talking sub £21,000 salaries in London and I can’t afford that with my background. So in all honesty I wouldn’t change much.
Q: You’ve got a brilliant column for Vice that helps men to navigate their feelings and problems. How did you get to this point in your career?
Ah thanks! I pitched a lot of articles about male phenomena to VICE UK, who by this point I had built a decent relationship with through freelancing. On one I just bit the bullet and said “I think this could be an entire column if I’m honest” and then the editors pondered over that more than I thought they would, and discussions started on how to make Hey Man look, sound, and what sort of column it would become. It’s an advice column for men, but I make sure that the answers are informed by experts and not plucky cis-het 25 (at the launch I was 23) y/o me.
Q: What’s the most satisfying problem you’ve ever given advice to?
“My Girlfriend Wants Me to Text All the Time When I'm Away” I think was pretty satisfying just because it was something I thought completely hadn’t been looked into. The idea of how texting is emotional disclosure, therefore men are generally pretty bad at it. I had a fair bit of response from all genders via DM too, which is always nice. Ultimately the article is there to help so it’s good to learn it has done so.
Q: Who’s the best person you’ve ever interviewed?
Brette Harrington for Huck magazine. We spoke about her partner the alpinist Marc-André Leclerc who died in 2018 while climbing. Her generosity with sharing something so personal made me realise how unimportant most aspects of the job are, while also feeling very grateful for the power of storytelling and for having a role within that.
QUICKFIRE QUESTIONS
Q: One work-related object you can’t live without?
My dictaphone. It’s a Sony PCM-A10. I’ve had it since August 2018, it’s never been out of charge, full of memory, nor have I ever lost a recording. And I’ve done hundreds.
Q: Best advice you’ve ever been given?
I’d be nothing without listening to people. ‘Good writers are reliable writers’ and ‘pitch stories not ideas’ are the top tips but really, maybe any advice down the line of: try to do as often as possible; always dissect feedback/criticism honestly; asking why not what; never think you’re the story; and to always chase what you want to do. Basically turn up, be reliable, don’t be a dick to anyone.
Q: Worst advice you’ve ever been given?
As much as this will make people vomit, I generally take any advice on fully and I consider it wholeheartedly, that’s free wisdom. That said, ‘just get a job in the right industry and think about where you want to end up later on’ I think is, on the whole, a bad tactic. Also “use your social media” – it’s good advice but it’s also depressing.
Q: Your dream publication to write for?
Either the New Yorker, or a nice massive longread in GQ/Esquire. It might have been Playboy in the past.
Q: The person you admire the most?
Personally, my dad. Professionally there’s loads: Terri White, Jeff Maysh, David Hieatt.
Q: Ever faked being sick to get off work?
I have lied about how I sprained my ankle (pissed) which meant I couldn’t get into work if that counts? But I felt terrible so I worked remotely anyway (this was pre-pandemic). Otherwise, nah, especially since being self-employed I truly can’t afford to not work.
Q: Anything to get off your chest?
I’m about to quit a ‘creative copywriting’ job because my contract is coming to an end, and because I feel I have provided what I can offer there. I like them too much to waste their money and time. It’s the majority of my salary, and the best paying job I’ve ever had.
For the first time, I feel a lot more dread than optimism around making this decision. This is for a few reasons. One, most of my work outside this role is within features writing, and I think more than ever you have to be privileged or have family in London to be able to survive purely off features and non-fiction writing. Secondly, the payments are getting later and later. Thirdly I don’t think I’ll even enjoy it as much when approached for a commission, because editorial teams are stretched thin and their focus feels increasingly on metrics more than anything else (be it followers and likes, clicks or impressions).
With writing books, which is another aim of mine, the idea of doing months of work for no money before even getting a yes or a no, feels like you have to have savings to play. So I’m quitting security in order to find more satisfaction/to do a genuinely good job, but it also seems finding ways of doing so while having the flexibility of being freelance (while young) are increasingly slim.
I’m probably asking for too much, but why shouldn’t I? I think I’m going to take my first complete holiday and to come back energised. Recalibration, as opposed to a resurrection.
Q: Any last words?
I would like to set up a specific magazine (and community) which I feel can fill a gap in the market. I have plans. DM to learn more and to invest. Also keep eyes peeled for a small book in 2023 about Wales. x
Great interview. Thanks for introducing me to Rhys' writing, x