the five british foods i've missed since moving to the netherlands
on building a home, embracing dutch culture with an open mouth and controversial mayo opinions
Growing up, we spent our school holidays in France. It wasn’t in a glamorous way – my grandparents had a small static caravan on a campsite, and we’d all go there as a family and somehow fit eight of us in there. My parents were teachers and we’d spend as much of the school holidays there as we could. It is still my favourite place to be in the world.
While we were there, we all inhaled the French way of life. We’d speak as much French as we could (my mum was a French teacher, so speaks it fluently), eat the French way and shop the French brands. I can remember my brother complaining that we didn’t have Heinz ketchup and my mum telling him that ‘we’re in France now, we’re having the French ketchup’, which was always Amora, btw.
Since then, the first thing I do when I arrive somewhere new is to head to the nearest petrol station, corner shop or supermarket to marvel at the packaging and various different local versions of foods. What crisp flavours do they have? What soft drinks are people drinking? What brands are on shelves? It’s such an exhilarating part of a trip to me, and it is with great restraint that I do not blow my entire holiday budget on snacks and exciting-looking packaging within the first ten minutes of being there.
I’d been to Amsterdam many times before moving here, but it had always been for weekend breaks or work trips. Moving here meant that I needed to embraced Dutch life, culture and food in a different way with open arms (and an open mouth), which meant unearthing all the various versions of Dutch things in bars, restaurants and supermarkets. I am obsessed with bitterballen (small fried breaded balls of veal and gravy, or mushrooms and gravy if you’re veggie), fried cheese sticks (like a spring roll but with gouda inside) and oliebollen (basically a Dutch beignet). A lot of Dutch cuisine is… fried.
But settling down here meant less eating out (though we are full steam ahead on making our way through my Google Maps saved list) and more grocery shopping and cooking at home. When you’re creating a new home for yourself in a new place, feeling settled doesn’t just happen overnight. And though I’m not a brilliant cook by any means, getting in the kitchen and cooking up something familiar is what helps me to feel like I’m building a home. And to do that, I needed to get to the supermarkets and figure out (and use the Google Translate app on my phone) exactly what I needed to buy, what products were available and perhaps most important, which products were not.
It’s been four months of living here now and I have discovered that the Dutch are the ultimate champions of mayonnaise, cherry tomatoes taste better here and that I am actually happier with a life of no cheddar and only gouda. Paprika flavoured crisps rule the shelves, Tony’s Chocolonely is literally in every shop you go in and shower gel is, for some reason, wildly expensive. Lunch is always at twelve and people often meet in the evenings for an ice cream and a walk. I’m into all of it.
There’s hardly anything I miss about living in the UK except for family and friends. Life feels more balanced, people feel friendlier and my husband Jonny and I both feel soooo much healthier and happier here than we did back in London.
There are, however, five very specific food things that I do miss. Five shining staples of British cuisine (this is up for debate, I’m sure) that I have discovered that I actually was ever so slightly yearning for. And though I was determined to fully embrace the Dutch way of everything, I am slightly embarrassed to admit that I bought and squeezed these five things into my suitcase to bring back from our recent London visit.
1. SALT + VINEGAR CRISPS
There’s just no real appetite for vinegar outside of the UK, is there? Unless it’s balsamic, vinegar is barely anywhere in Europe. Malt vinegar is definitely a British thing, with salt and vinegar being the soulmate of fish and chips – and one of the most loved UK crisp flavours. I miss them so much (my mouth is watering just thinking about that tangy flavour hit). If I could only eat one specific bag of salt and vinegar crisps for the rest of my life, it would be the Co-op’s Irresistible Hand Cooked Sea Salt & Chardonnay Wine Vinegar crisps. They are actually the most divine crisps in the world and would make up part of my death row dinner. But if they weren’t available, I’d settle for Discos (grab bag, obvs).
2. YORKSHIRE TEA
There is only one English breakfast tea that matters and this is it. I can’t even really explain why it’s the best, I just know that it tastes better than any other tea on the planet. I just really missed starting my day with a cup of this tea, taking a moment for myself in the middle of the afternoon with a cup of this tea and temporarily solving all my problems with a cup of this tea. I now have five bags left and I’m afraid to use them.
3. DIET COKE (UK VERSION)
Look, I hate to be that basic millennial woman but Diet Coke just hits different. People try to convince me (like they’ve tried to convince themselves) that Coke Zero is better but it simply is not. In the Netherlands, Coke Light is the DC equivalent but it’s hardly ever in bars or restaurants. ‘Is Coke Zero okay?’ is the new ‘Is Pepsi okay?’ and guess what, it’s not. I’ve had to have wine instead. Sigh.
4. HP BROWN SAUCE
When you think about it, this is such a weird food thing to exist. Brown sauce. A a sauce that’s a bit like ketchup, except it’s brown and also it’s named after the Houses of Parliament. Why should that exist? It’s just so weird. It has no business existing. However, one of my favourite hangover or ‘I’m unwell and feel sorry for myself’ foods in the world is a fried egg sandwich (crispy with no runny yolk, thanks) with brown sauce. Without the brown sauce, the fried egg sandwich is nothing. I’d rather not have one than have one without the brown sauce.
5. WELSH SALTED BUTTER
Ok, this is just a luxury and something that I can actually live without, but this is also something I missed when I was living in London. I am a huge salt fiend. I would always choose a starter and a main course over a main course and dessert and of course, crisps are always my go-to snack.
When I was little, we’d ask for ‘Granny’s toast’ which was basically just regular toast (though with bread from the local valley bakery) with far too much Welsh salted butter that my gran had spread onto the toast immediately after it came out of the toaster, so that it went all melty. It was divine. The butter had actual proper salt flakes in it, and it’s just such a creamy dreamy thing. I fully blame this for my unhealthy love of salt. It’s such a big love for me that you’ll often find me putting salt on my toast and my crumpets, because lots of so-called ‘salted’ butter just isn’t actually all that salty. Welsh salted butter just set the bar too high.
Have you moved abroad and missed certain things from home? Are my choices unhinged? Tell me (and make my hungry) in the comments below!
And anything with flavour in general. Bitterballen and all its brown bland processed friends are just depressing 🥺
But you do have the perfection of pfoffertjes. On the other hand, you have massive, tasteless white asparagus.